just a thought....


woo...it has been a long time not to be here...how come? it's my blog lei! how can i just leave it there and only do my own crazy stuff? what have i done in the past..about one month? more than one month?...well, just finished my first final paper this morning, and i'm sort of tired and slacked. after a good nap and a simple but nice dinch cooked by myself, i feel like being here and just be...ME ^!^ yes, the real me ^_*

this semester is massy, crazy and lousy for me, really~~~but life is always like this, new challenges keep popping up and we just LOVE to catch all the excitment and worries that they bring to us. however, sometimes i feel tired and hard to move ahead, especially in the past two or three months. what do we really want? what's the purpose for us to activate our energy and enthusiastic to face the pressure, difficulties and hardtimes? for success? for self satiscaction and self recognition? or for not being lost in this running world, since everyone else is doing the same thing. the answer seems very easy when people mention about $. for more money, of course! but does it mean a better life?

i used to be very confidence about the answer to this money issue, like all the littles girls with dreams and fantacies in mind. "money is good for life, but make sure u won't be a slave for $." well it's easy to say so, but as life goes on, to draw a fine line or connection between "$" and" bettter life" does not seems as easy as i used to think. $, recognition, reputation...they are all about this material world. i used to chase all these, very hard. but now they do not appear that real in my mind.

i'm not sure about how it comes like this, or whether it's right to let myself in this position, or whether i should make some adjustment in my life to make a change or something. whether all these are worth some time to think over... i don't know. being away from home almost a whole year, i'm extreamly tired, both mentally and physically. sometimes i let go myself, as feet my greedy mouth with lots of cakes, cookies, chocolate, such unhealthy stuff. over eating is horrible! and i feel guilty and regreted every time, i don't want to be a fatty piggy ^@^

just hope the finals can be passes smoothly, and everything goes on well to let me be home soon....********